A Lifetime

Fire in the belly
running with the wind
chasing shadows with a dreamcatcher
trying not to sin.

I never saw the answer
but the question broke my heart
I wished upon a star for you
I wished the new would start.

I waited by the water 
skipping stones until you came
if you’d lost me in the moonlight
I’d love you just the same.

I listened to your echoes
to your song and to your cry
there’s a story in the thunder
there’s a lifetime in the tide.

When the shadows deepen
when the dark is near
I’ll be waiting in your wonder
I’ll be fighting with your fear.

And in each blissful sunrise
in our laughter and our calm
we’ll find peace between the storm clouds
we’ll find hope to keep us warm.

But if far woods do beckon
and if perchance I have to go
bright birds will sing my song for you
I’ll be the sparkle on new snow.

~Becky Robbins

Photo: "Painted Trillium", Naples, Maine by Becky Robbins.

The Show Must Go On

The moon only chases us around 

nothing better to do I guess 

And the stars just sit and blink while they watch our every move.

We're the reality show of the universe.

Dramas and tragedies 

chaos and love 

sex and suffering 

A soap opera for comets. 

Broadway for the nebulae. 

They bust out the cosmic tissues during the sad parts 

and lean forward en masse 

star-dusted brows raised 

when things get really juicy. 

Laughing and crying with us 

Giving a galactic cheer when we're great 

Groaning and throwing their tickets 

into black holes with disgust 

when we bore or disappoint. 

Some of us are celebrities on the universal stage

I'm sure 

The stones and mountains are their paparazzi 

auroras and rainbows their awards. 

And who can fault them for so shamelessly tuning in? 

Where else in this grand sea of matter and space 

can you catch such spectacular theatrics? 

The spotlight is on us and we, 

in all of our glory and misery, are the real stars. 

Break a leg.

~Becky Robbins

Photo: "Trickey Pond", Naples, Maine by Becky Robbins.

Inspired

She was withered, she was wasted

she was aching. Incomplete.

She was bowing to a master

begged for mercy at his feet.

He held logic like a dagger

pressing sharp against her back.

She feared ruin and dishonor

her soul, once light-filled, now was black.

She could run from his cold shallows

into the depths of Mystery.

But in a cage of her own making

this desperate heart could not be free.

Inspiration came like springtime

he was bright and warm and new.

His strong hand was on her shoulder

his quiet voice was clear and true.

She let go and held the answer

she walked boldly toward the door.

The master watched her go, bewildered

the dagger dropped down to the floor.

She is free now from her prison

no longer clinging to her fears.

Springtime came and Inspiration

picked her up and dried her tears.

~Becky Robbins

Photo: "New Year", Waterford, Maine by Becky Robbins.

Lullaby

Red red leaves
          and a bright blue sky

wind through trees
          whispers and sighs.

Silent now
          neither rustle nor shake

sleep sleep sleep
          in the spring we shall wake.

~Becky Robbins

Photo: "Autumn Maple Leaves", Paris, Maine by Becky Robbins.

Blue Jay

Blue Jay

24"x18" oil pastel on canvas

My Maine

Photos of beautiful Maine that I've taken over the years. Music by Dave Mallett.

Black-capped Chickadee

This handsome little fellow flew into my window and was stunned. He was almost unconscious when I found him, all crumpled and cold and wet in the grass. He pretty much passed out in my hand and I kept him safe and warm while he recovered. After about 10 minutes he flew away. While I wish windows weren't so dangerous for them, I must say it's an amazing feeling to have a wild bird take off from the palm of your hand. And I love a happy ending!

 So forlorn

He pretty much passed out in my hand

Starting to perk up

He flew away about 2 seconds after I took this shot :)

Great Golden Digger Wasp

"Within the insect order Hymenoptera, family Sphecidae, is the Sphex genus with over 130 recognized species and subspecies. One of the larger and more impressive thread-waisted is the Great Golden Digger Wasp or Sphex ichneumoneus. Aptly named, as the term "ichneumoneus" is Greek for tracker, these robust wasps are known for tracking their prey. Great Goldens are one-half to over an inch in length, though some sightings have reported seeing them as large as two inches. Great Goldens are easily spotted during the summer. Their black head and thorax are covered with short golden hair. Half of the back segment of their abdomen is also black with their front segment and legs a reddish-orange.

"Occurring in North America, Mexico, Central America, South America and the Caribbean, Great Goldens are usually seen in parks, gardens, fields and meadows - anywhere that is sunny, has compacted clay and sand, flower nectar for adults to feed on, and crickets, grasshoppers and katydids for their larvae. The adult wasps subside strictly on sap fluids and a variety of flower nectars that bloom during their flying time. Spotting them is one thing, but observing them can be dicey. Great Goldens do not linger around a bloom for very long and are quite wary of anything larger than they are. Fortunately, though they may look scary, these wasps are not aggressive unless handled and should be left alone. Great Goldens are solitary wasps, live independently and do not share in either nest maintenance or in the caring of their young.

"Between May and August, the female Great Golden, in preparation for egg laying, constructs as many as half a dozen nests. The building of, and provisions for, the nests is done in a concise, methodical manner, which she never deviates from. Rarely is there vegetation around the nests. Most sites are exposed to the sun in an open locale. The female begins digging, almost vertically, by cutting the earth with her mandibles. She walks about an inch backwards from the nesting site with a section of soil between her forelegs and head and flips the soil with her forelegs beneath her body, scattering it to the sides with her hindlegs.

"Great Golden nests have a cylinder shaped main tunnel that is one-half inch in diameter and four to six inches deep. From the main tunnel, she extends secondary tunnels that lead to individual larval cells where she will store anesthetized prey. The cells are broader than the tunnels and parallel to the soil. Once completed, she temporarily closes it after excavation by using the earth that remains by the nest entrance. The female throws it towards the entry with movements identical to those she made when she dug the nest.

"After constructing the burrow, she flies from the nesting area to open fields and hunts for any number of small locally available species of Orthoptera. Great Goldens hunt for crickets (Gryllidae), grasshoppers (Trimerotropis) and katydids (Tettigoniidae) to serve as a food source for her young. Upon capturing a suitable prey, the female Great Golden will paralyze it with toxins in her sting. If the prey is small, she flies it directly to the nest. If prey is too large to transport aerially, the wasp will walk with it across the ground. The prey is clasped beneath her body by grasping its antennas with her mandibles. Once the Great Golden reaches the opening of her nest, she sets the paralyzed insect down. Leaving the prey outside, she goes into the tunnel for inspection. When satisfied that all is well, she comes partially out from the nest and again grasps the prey's antennas pulling it backwards into the nest's interior where it is deposited in a cell with its head turned to the bottom.

"Though the prey is permanently paralyzed, it is able to eliminate feces and slightly move its antennas and mouthparts. Great Golden females close the nest each time prey is placed inside. When she re-enters for egg laying, she emits a set of buzzing sounds as she compacts the earth closing the entrance.

"After the Great Golden has dragged all her paralyzed prey into the nest hole, she lays one egg on each insect, placing it horizontally on the prey's thorax. The eggs are yellow, less than a 1/2 inch long and has a slightly curved cylindrical shape. They hatch within 2-to-3 days of oviposition, and without moving, they begin to feed on the prey's abdomen or at the junction of its leg. The feeding phase is very rapid. In one of the observed cases, the larva consumed even the more rigid parts of the prey's exoskeleton.

"Unfortunately, homeowners, who have these foraging wasps around their landscape and dig holes in their lawn, usually reach for a can of insecticide. Great Goldens are benign, do not defend their nests, are not aggressive and definitely do more good than harm. Hold that can for a moment and realize that like many other wasps, the Great Golden Digger Wasp is quite beneficial to both gardeners and farmers. So please leave them alone to do their job."**

**Text by Candice Hawkinson:  http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/galveston/beneficials/beneficial-54_great_golden_digger_wasp.htm

All of these photos are mine, and I feel super lucky to have been able to witness it. This wasp built her nest in a sunny spot at the edge of our gravel driveway here in western Maine. Still hoping for a shot of one flying with a katydid in her arms!

Damselfly and Blueflag

I went to have my trucks's windshield replaced and there was a 2 hour wait. So I took a stroll down a side road near the shop and found a very pleasant little trail off into the woods, and followed it down to the Little Androscoggin River. I soon found myself in a secluded spot on a flat rock, sitting with my arms crossed over my knees, when a damselfly landed on my arm. I watched her, very close up, for a minute or so before she jumped up quick and came back and settled back on my arm with a kicking mosquito in her mouth. I watched her eat it (surprisingly quickly for such a large-ish meal), and then watched as she did it again and again - my own little bug repellent friend! Endlessly interesting to witness - and she really kept me from getting bug bites! We were like a team - I attracted the mosquitos and she gobbled them up. The 2 hour wait was over before I knew it. As I was about to walk away, she posed for me on this wild Blueflag Iris at the water's edge.

Photo: "Damselfly and Blue Flag", South Paris, Maine by Becky Robbins.

Phoebes in the Honeysuckle

A while back a pair of phoebes nested in the eaves of our old house on a wall that was part of our dog pen, and we got to watch them fly back and forth caring for their eggs and then their nestlings. When their two babies fledged things got a little nerve wracking - they were terrible flyers and had no knowledge of the dangers of a trio of dogs. I first discovered them sitting on the top step in front of the door just as I was opening it for the herd of canines to plow through on their way outside, and had to scramble to yank the dogs back in before tragedy occurred. After that I kept the dogs inside and spent the day watching the sweet and beautiful babies practice flying, and kept an eye out for predators or some other calamity. After a while a gentle rain started and they ended up making their way to a sheltered branch in our honeysuckle where their parents would come and feed them.

I recently finished this painting of these two little fledglings and I call it “Phoebes in the Honeysuckle”. The whole process - from witnessing the event to putting color on canvas - was a wonderful blessing and a treasured experience.

Phoebes in the Honeysuckle

 9"x12" watercolor on canvas 

Red Trillium and a Sneaky Spider

The stone walls along our road are lined with red trillium right now. They don't all have spiders hiding behind them, though 🕷

Imagine

Have you ever heard of imaginal discs? They're tucked away inside caterpillars during the embryonic stage and carry all the genetic information necessary to be a butterfly. But they lie dormant until the caterpillar spins its cocoon and releases enzymes that literally dissolve its entire body. From this goo only the imaginal discs, and enough nerve cells to keep the memories of life as a caterpillar, remain. And from these imaginal discs grow a whole new creature - new eyes, new wings, new legs, new organs, new everything. And for some caterpillars the imaginal discs start to develop into butterfly parts before the cocoon is even spun. You can't see it from the outside, but inside wings are beginning to grow.

Maybe humans, probably only on a metaphysical level but who knows, have something like imaginal discs lying dormant inside of us, too. I suspect I've maybe even known some particularly wondrous treasures whose metamorphosis began before they curled up for that last and deepest sleep. Walking amongst us, they look perfectly ordinary from the outside. It's only when you look far far inside that you realize they've already got everything they need to fly.

~Becky Robbins

Common Yellowthroat

Common Yellowthroat

 12"x12" watercolor on canvas

This was the fine fellow I hung out with last spring after he flew into a window and was dazed for 10 minutes or so. This is my very first watercolor on canvas - super tricky and fun!

Higher Ground

Smashing and crashing
reaching and preaching
Too cold by the window
too hot by the fire
Too bad for your pedestal
too good for your pyre
I’ll race you through fields
I’ll splash through the streams
you’ll find me in the willow
you’ll tell me your dreams.

I’m sick of blue skies
the gray winds should blow
I want empty beaches
I want barren white snow
I’ll pass you on the mountain
reach the top all alone
You’re angry with my attitude
you don’t like my tone.

Bashing and flashing
teaching, beseeching
You’ll wait by the front door
you’ll call me a liar
too good for your hatred
too bad for your choir
I’ll run across tightropes
I’ll balance on beams
But you’ll walk on the water
your golden ark gleams.

Searching for sunlight
I’ve faced every foe
I’ve found the arrow
but where is the bow?
I’m higher than eagles now
headed for home
You’re right there beside me
and this mountain’s our own.

~Becky Robbins

Photo: "Singepole Mountain", South Paris, Maine by Becky Robbins.